outta gas...not that kind.

This week has been one heck of a social week... I feel physically exhausted having been out every single day of the week so far. It's like I've been saving all my energy from work for this one single week of tiring freedom (isn't it ironic? Don't you think? oh, Alanis, you say it the best). So this is what the week consisted of,

Monday: Wonderland with May, Carrie, Ass and the boys (yay for whack-a-mole and basketball shoot) SUPISE for Robbie =)
Tuesday: CNE with the girls, and Dessert at night with the twin and my cousin and the Queen's convert...haha (mmm Durian...so smelly but so good)...
Wednesday: Day with the Best Friend =) Dessert with the girls (CHAR IS BACK YAY!!!)
Thursday:...... here it comes, LORD OF THE RINGS MARATHON!!! whoaaaaaaa and the EXTENDED VERSION TOO !!!
Friday: Charity Ball...
I'm think I might do the hibernating next week.... sometimes, too much is overload... I'm definitely "running out of gas".

On another note regarding friendship, I find that I compare myself to my friends a lot of times. Maybe it's because of the "chinese" in me that I tend to do so. It's inherent that in my family, I was taught to always do better than the person sitting beside me (whether in school or in the arts). Although I've learnt to accept and to be thankful for who God made me to be (personality, character, and even in terms of my physical attributes), I still struggle with this issue. Sometimes, because of the fact that all my close friends are so talented, successful, and great in personality, in spritual character and did I mention, Good Lookin' haha (Yes, you guys are wonderful!) I find myself believing that I'm not good enough, or I question why I can't be like so and so. I know that this is called ENVY, and I wanna get rid of it. I know the difference between the Lies and the Truth, so which one will I cling onto ? The answer is easy to say, but hard to grasp in the heart when you've been lied to for so long. I want to continue to cling to his Words, his promises and his Love for me shown through so many years of struggles...please Lord, help me overcome.

Psalm 40: ...."Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare..."

i am a carrot

Today, I had a good time to just sit and "veg-out"at home after lunch out with the churchies. It was a time of reflection and enjoying my geekiness ;apparant in my love for the 5 following things:

1. Reading the Newspaper.
I like to read all the parts that interest me first, and then to read over all the other parts of the paper. It's good to know what's going on in our world, and I have to agree that our generation is a lotta of the times, ignorant to the things going on in our world...it bothers me to think that we worry about our own petty problems when there's so much going on outside of our little "bubble". But all in all, I've learnt to appreciate the Editorial section, I've learnt to question the validity of the newspaper (should I believe everything I read?) and of course, the precious CROSSWORDS SECTION!!!! (although I can't finish one for the life of me, unlike HEIDI or VAN, those geniuses... tee hee)

2. Jigsaw puzzles (either online or by hand)
I don't know why I've liked to fit pieces of things together since I was a kid. I like the process of putting little pieces together to make an overall product =) It gives some satisfaction of accomplishment....I've always wanted to do a crazy 1000 + piece puzzle !!

3. Reading
Recently, I've been reading "Where is God when It Hurts" by Philip Yancey. It's taking me a LONG time to digest the stuff written in the book...maybe cause there's so much material to grasp... or maybe cause I want to understand and relate it to what I've experienced. Nonetheless, when Pastor Mpindu (in today's sermon) says that continuous education is essential to our Understanding and development of Wisdom in God's things, I was even more encouraged to read more and to learn more.

4. Jamming on the piano, writing music, listening to new music (and my futile attempt at picking up the guitar....haha)
Music is one of the most important medium to express my feelings and thoughts on things.. I've just started writing music this summer, and like a puzzle, it's exciting to be able to put together and match words with a melody and to make it meaningful (if not to others, than even to me).

5. sketching and folding origami=)
There was a sketch of a friend I started at the beginning of the summer that I'm still working on... it's funny to see how much my artistic skills have evolved from middle school through high school... YES!! my years in art major have not been in vain!! haha (even though those of us Claudies in Haig know that working on squares and conceptions are far more IMPORTANT.....right.... ) . In respect to Origami, it's always fascinated me to know how folding a simple piece of paper a certain way can make such beautiful objects...I've always wondered who the people were, who sat around thinking of ways to fold a piece of paper to make a crab or something.... maybe it's a profession in Japan =)

Aside from today's afternoon of geekdom, I've been having a wonderful week! Kat and Carrie are both back from their trip overseas, and our Haig Girl's Potluck was awesome. Softball is always fun to cheer and watch, and chilling with the churchies, I'm so thankful to have gotten to know some of you more deeply =) Since school is only 2-3 weeks away, I'm trying make the most of the time left...and also starting to gear up for the goodbyes... and the reunions back in ktown....

OH ! and the picture ? I don't know why I put it up, it's just to continue my photo"blog" haha .... took it in Norway, and the expression on the child's face caught my eye..... it's so funny but real at the same time.... and near a river too haha...and below, that's a threadless.com design. I thought it was quite witty =) i like witty tshirt designs..it's almost equal to a witty/corny joke hahah...

-v

"Dare you to Move...Where do you run to escape from Yourself?" ~ Switchfoot

Signs. They help to indicate where something is, when and where to perform certain activities or functions. They also sometimes help to warn, to acknowledge something or to confuse. I wish that sometimes, God would just give clear cut answers to prayers or questions like the picture I took at the Ford Museum in Chicago a couple of weeks back. This summer has been a challenging yet promising time in my life; in my spiritual walk and in my relationship with others. Being away from life in Toronto for most of the year, it's hard to maintain and keep those relationships going back home. In particular, I'm not very good with keeping in touch with people, and so these friendships suffer because I don't do my part to keep them going. That's why it's been so nice to be able to spend a complete summer in Toronto (well... for the first time since my last year in high school). It's such a blessing to be able to re-establish and to develop relationships with my brothers and sisters in church. It's such a blessing to be able to go to retreat for the first time since I've gone off to Queen's. Crazy to say, it's even been a blessing to be able to work at Cruise Holidays (although I HAVE to say that the working hours are INSANO, and there are those times when.... the customers just annoy the HECK outta me). I guess since I haven't updated since the last month of school... I'll give a quick cap of the summer.

May was the month of the annual family vacation. This year, we decided to go to Northern Europe for 13 days. We stopped by London, England prior to heading North to Denmark. It was lovalee to meet up with a couple of my friends in London=) Enroute, we also stopped in the cities of Stockholm, Helsinki, St. Petersburg, Gdansk, Tallinn, and Oslo. The picture underneath is one of my favourites from the whole trip.

It was taken in Gdansk, Poland... a beautiful little city (or rather touristy) amidst its impoverished surroundings. The overall impression given off by Northern European countries are so much different from those in Western Europe. The people seem more conservative, more serious and at times, it can even be described as repressed. One thing that impressed upon me was the number of Orthodox churches and Calvinist churches in these countries. I guess that religion and Christianity are big factors in their countries, and yet , where is the joy in knowing the Lord ?

June : Back in Toronto, I started work late in May at Cruise Holidays. Located at the intersection of Bayview and Major Mackenzie, it's a Chinese branch of a "Gwai-Lo" franchise. I was so thankful for this job, cause I was so desperately looking for a summer job. I remember telling God that I was willing to do experience anything this summer, even if it meant laborious or tough work. God is funny like that . He answered me in a most unexpected way by placing me in a job setting where I have to deal with a lot of "mah fan" people. I've had the oppurtunity to learn SO much about being patient with people, how to deal with stressful situations in the workplace under intense pressure. It's so hard to be an "ambassador" for the Lord in this particular workplace. Especially in an environment where colleagues usually express their frustration with swearing and/or very "Cantonese" reactions (high volume, pitch speaking/shouting at each other.....but not really meaning to be rude). If any of you guys want to know more about stories from my job... feel free to approach me anytime to ask me.... I have MANY to tell...(the adventures of the CRUISE AGENT); even one involving the name BERWIN.... haha

July: I feel the effects of working full time... hardly any time for friends outside of work. Since I work 10:30- 7:30/8:00 everyday from monday to Friday, it made it even more difficult to meet up with people afterwards. As well, 1/2 of my JLC girls are abroad...while the other half are busy working. That's why when Church retreat came along, it was much needed...just a time to be away from the hectic work life, and to concentrate on other more important aspects in life. I'm so glad I went this year, because God definitely spoke to me through the workshops about caring/friendship/ and deepening relationships with others in our church community. God provides a community for a reason. It should be a place where we can spur each other to grow, a place where we can share our struggles and victories with each other without having to be afraid of being judged by others. I've experienced that two years ago at 180 fellowship while in Hong Kong for the summer, and I also sincerely pray that our church will also develop to be such a haven. God did not mean for us to go through our walk with Him alone, we were meant to fellowship and to experience Him with others around us too.

Other summer memories worth mentioning: Chicago with the fam/ MiniClaude Reunion/Madison Avenue Pub with the ClaudieGirls/$1.99 breakfasts with May and Jo and Ikea/Lounge-chilling with Jo and Jin and Char/Darren's Farewell party =(/Piano Geeks Party (*snortsnort...haha)/retreat practice/chinese dessert with the "twin" (Samango...tee hee) and friends...more to come...

What Am I listening to ?: Coldplay-Castles (album)

Take Care & Cheers, -v