Just want to know that you still know how many hairs are on my head... - Nichole Nordeman

Be Small Enough - Nichole Nordeman

Oh, Great God, be small enough to hear me now.
There were times when I was crying from the dark of Daniel's den.
And I have asked you once or twice if you would part the sea again.
tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
Just wanna know, you're gonna hold me if i start to cry.

Oh, Great God, be close enough to feel me now.
There have been moments that I could not face Goliath on my own.
How could I forget we've marched around our share of Jerichos.
But I will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight.
Just wanna know that everything will be alright.
Oh Great God, be close enough to feel me now.

All praise and all honour be,
to the God of ANCIENT MYSTERIES
whose every sign and wonder, turn the pages of our history
But tonight my heart is heavy.
And I cannot help from whispering this prayer
"Are You There ? "

And I know you could leave writing on the wall that's Just for me.
Or send wisdom while I'm sleeping like in Solomon's sweet dreams.
But I don't need the strength of Samson,
Or a chariot in the end...
Just want to know that you still know how many hairs are on my head.
Oh Great God, be small enough to hear me now.

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Mystery: One that is not fully understood or that baffles or eludes the understanding; an enigma; A mysterious character or
quality; A religious truth that is incomprehensible to reason and knowable only through divine revelation.

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Nichole Nordeman is one of my favourite poets and Christian songwriters. Recently, I feel a nostalgic feeling over me to listen to her wonderful songs again. It's funny how every time I hear these songs, they've spoke to me differently in relations to a variety of contexts and situations in my life. Be Small Enough is no exception. As I'm slowly letting the Lord Heal my heart and learning to slowly trust in Him again, the words in this song are a complete reflection of the awe and wonder I have come to know in the past and are currently exploring and rekindling.

To know that our God is so loving , (as proof in the mentions of the different bible characters) gives me a sense that this God knows what he is doing even though I do not. This week has been full of glimpses into God's agape love for me... it's just a matter for me to accept who he's created in me. He's teaching me to have confidence in knowing Him.. in knowing my role within my church, my fellowship, and in my relationships with others.

Although I may NEVER know or understand all of God's workings and ways (i.e. why things happen the way they do.. or even why they happen in the first place) , I know that he has chosen me and all his other sons and daughters as a steward for his mysteries. Today, in church the message WAS about God's Mysteries, and us being stewards of it. The three points the pastor spoke of were that we should learn to leave room for God; to learn to stay in/ at a place even if we feel uncomfortable; and to do/ say/ act upon things God asks us to even if we don't completely understand what or where the results are. It's this type of mystery which requires us to live through and to exercise our trust in Him... So!!! Here we go.. slowly.. but surely....

P.S.Thank God for the encouragements from different brothers and sisters =) I Hope I can do the same for you =)

1 Corinthian 4: 1-5 (The Message Bible)
" Don't imagine us leaders to be something we aren't. We are servants of Christ, not his masters. We are guides into God's most sublime secrets, not security guards posted to protect them. The requirements for a good guide are reliability and accurate knowledge. It matters very little to me what you think of me, even less where I rank in popular opinion. I don't even rank myself. Comparisons in these matters are pointless. I'm not aware of anything that would disqualify me from being a good guide for you, but that doesn't mean much. The Master makes that judgment.
So don't get ahead of the Master and jump to conclusions with your judgments before all the evidence is in. When he comes, he will bring out in the open and place in evidence all kinds of things we never even dreamed of--inner motives and purposes and prayers. Only then will any one of us get to hear the "Well done!" of God."

Love can take a little more... - skillet

Love is all around you know, so take a hold.
Hidden in our words, that's sometimes ain't enough
Don't suffocate day after day, just build it up.
Cause when you're feeling weak, you know i'm strong enough.

..Just one more day, one more day...
..Let the world crash Love can take it...
..Love can take a little, Love can give a little more...

Love is indistructable, so take a hold.
Sometimes hard to find a reason good enough.
Stand beside you, Never leave you through it all.
And faith will bring a way to the impossible.

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Love: An intense emotional attachment; A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude towards someone/ something.

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Even the dictionary describes love as a feeling. How I sometimes wish that it was that easy.. a feeling. The song by Skillet ( A Little More) (above) really describes of the omnipresence of God .. of his unfailing and everpresent Love for us. It reminds me of a love I have forgotten and forsaken for a long time; one not of just feeling and emotions, but of action and trust. I rather like the literal translation of the Greek word for Love (Agape) --> enthusiasm, or devotion; unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. Although I like the definition, I know that personally, I have not been exhibiting that aspect of Love in my daily life ... Rather, I've been struggling a lot not only with my relationship with the Lord, but it also indirectly affects my thoughts and relations with others.

I wish I could say that everything is nice and dandy... but it's far from it. Academically, I'm doing pretty well.. but as I reflect on the past semester... I've realized that I've cut God out of the equation.. out of the overall picture. I've been so dependent on myself... not spending time with the Lord, living pretty much the life of a "good person without God". Although I've been attending Bethel and serving.. I've just come to a point where I'm dried.. or just tired... Tired of what ? I guess that question has many answers. I've been questioning God for a long time, as to whether he really truly hears my prayers. There's been issues and things that I've kept in my prayers for a long time, and yet I feel as though he's been silent and not giving me any APPARANT answers. Maybe I've missed the answers he's given me .. maybe I'm just not paying attention. ..

I miss the way I use to trust in God.. the way I used to rely on him for everything. I miss the compassion I had for others. I miss the way I used to live in fervor for Him and His Kingdom. Everytime I listen to another one of Pastor Dougs' sermons (and his great analogies), I have a motivation to reestablish my relationship with God. Everytime I sing the worship songs, I have a yearning to be near Him.. yet somehow.. I just can't seem to do it. Something's holding me back.. something in the way... I KNOW what it is.. but my "human-ness" has gotten the best of me.

How can I say to be living for his purpose.. when I don't even aquire the purpose and the advice given by God in the first place ?.. Help me Lord... I yearn to be rid of these chains and of the lies of the enemy... I strive to find comfort and refuge in you.. to be a witness to my brothers and sisters.. to those who do not know you. Father, use my flaws and my sins to show your hope and your faithfulness. I know you are a God that does not give up on your children. You are the Good Shepherd who looks for the one lost sheep. Almighty Lord, forgive me and renew me. Provide me with accountability and brothers and sisters who will pray with and for me. But most importantly, give me a heart to seek what is good.. what is pure and what is in Your FAVOUR. ~So Let it Be.

" But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual imorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.... "Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them... for it is light that makes everything visible... "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you". - Ephesians 5 : 1-14 (excerpts) .