November 12th, 2004. ~ Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

So many things to do, and so little time to do it in... sounds like a line from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. How applicable it is to the time that passes by in a week. This week just flew by too quickly, I didn't even have time for a breather. Well... maybe academically, my work hasn't been too overwhelming... but worship teams, cheoreography for the dance at the Evangelical Meeting, and the amount of time I spend doing those things have pretty much filled the week up.
Recently, because of these upcoming events, different thoughts have continously crossed my mind.
I know that my devotions and relationship with the Lord is not all its capable of being, yet i'm once again learning to slowly look not JUST at the "merits" but to have a heart and passion for WHAT i'm doing. Coincidentally (actually, not really.. cause nothing is EVER by coincidence), the theme of the Evangelical Meeting is Larger than Life (.. haha and what boyband does that remind you of ? ) . It suggests and jests at whether we (as christians or non-christians) are satisfied with what we currently have. For me, this has brought up the topic of complacency and self justification/self-fulfillment.
The bible mentions about how we, as human beings are prone to physically do what we don't want to do, even though our spirits and the longings of our hearts want to do right. God has given me so many new oppurtunities in my classes that right now, I KNOW that I should be taking a hold of these oppurunities as ways to develop relationships with those around me. I've taken the step to establish those relationships, and yet, i'm currently struggling to live out the life of a follower of Christ. What Makes me different from a Non-Christian ? Is it that I follow "rules" set by God in the Holy Bible ? Is it that I truly express genuine care and encouragement for my friends ? Or is it that I'm speaking words of truth and hope (and about the promises of a life with Christ) that make me stand out ?
I vie for the last two. My goal at the beginning of the year was to go OUT of my comfort area, and to break out of the christian (chinese) niche that I have carved out for myself throughout last year. So, in that way, I've already established an answer for the second of the three questions . And yet, the third seems so out of reach for me. I've realized that I lack faith in many aspects of what I go through daily.
I question the effectiveness of direct evangelism to students on campass. the fact that within this week, I've been convicted of limiting God in a way that suggests that "students in University are too intellectual to really accept direct proclaimation of a need for Christ" has placed doubts in my heart and skewed my point of view of what evangelism is and should be like. Instead, I have become complacent in just establishing relationships with people from my classes, and not going any further to share about the love of Christ. What creates even more dissonance is the fact that Kwan and Lincoln (2 fellow KCCF-ers) have started an outreach program within the university. Their faith and belief in God's ability to do big works through our small talents and passions have stirred in my heart a longing to have the same fervour for evanglism as they do.
But first things first, getting it right with the Lord... and serving him in worship team, and the EM with a pure and god-oriented heart.

~ funce~

p.s. on side note, I finally got the "renowned"OK Computer cd- by the one, the only, Radiohead (oldie but goodie) !!! and from Jason too !! (thanks buddy) ... , and I also met up with HK crew in Toronto =) (Jere, Niki, Derek, Mike Lau.. minus Alison, Rodney, and Carrie =( ... )